The Long Way Home
RY 776, During Mission 12: A Proper Introduction.
Ash went out of the window first, at Opal’s request, and stopped perched on the window sill to extend his bright red parasol to shield himself from the rain. With only one hand devoted to climbing his progress was slow, painfully slow to Opal who was much more acrobatic anyway, besides being not so fussy as to delay their escape with trying to stay dry. Ash finally stepped onto the muddy cobblestone alleyway, sinking slightly into the slop that covered the ill-kept paverstones, he stepped carefully away from the building with his toe extended trying to find solid footing like a child dipping a toe into a pool to gauge its temperature. Opal landed on the ground of the alley within moments, simply dropping off of the building to quickly cover the last story of her descent, despite the near ten foot drop into mud covered alley her landing was graceful and created no splash. Ash’s progress down the alley was slow as he picked his spots to find the best footing the path could offer, without care one might sink ankle deep into the sludge. Opal quickly caught up to Ash and fell into step beside him, her pace much quicker as she didn't care if her feet got a little dirty, to her surprise he kept up with her increased pace, though he still side stepped on occasion to dodge a particularly ugly looking puddle. They moved deeper into the alleyway, away from the main streets passing the bounds of their hotel as well as the adjacent one before coming out onto the next main street now a couple blocks from the site of the murder. As they turned onto the much better paved main road Ash shifted so he was walking much closer to Opal, near shoulder to shoulder, and straightened out his path as he no longer needed to hunt for solid footing.
Opal was fairly used to this sort of behavior from Ash, and she probably would have pushed just about anyone else away in an attempt to reclaim her personal space. With him it was worthless though, if she did he’d go on some spiel about how they needed to act like a couple so they didn't look suspicious walking down the street at this time of night. She was enjoying the silence too much for another fight, even one in jest, to start it. Naturally it was only a matter of time before Ash broke it.
“ Hold this,” Ash spoke as he switched hands carrying the umbrella and pushed it off into her own idle hands.
Gods he was insufferable, but she accepted having the parasol passed off to her and she held it between the two of them, so that it shielded them both from the falling rain. Sharing the protection from the rain on the main street would have been nice had her clothes not already been soaked earlier that night. Meanwhile he was digging into his inside jacket pockets with both hands until he was finally able to produce the small white ivory case that carried his pre-rolled cigarettes. Tobacco, or something stronger, sounded wonderful right about now, though her own stash had been drenched along with the rest of her. He lifted the cigarette to his lips and lit it with a snap of his fingers which produced enough small flame to easily ignite the rolling paper. He reached up to pluck the cigarette from his lips, and to her surprise passed it over to her in silent offering. She had been avoiding eye contact so she had to lift her eyes from the ground in front of her to really look over at him as she took the offered tobacco and noticed that he had lit two, one for each of them.
Ash passed off the extra cigarette he had lit for her and took the parasol back, still holding it between them so that it blocked the rain for them both. The streets were mostly abandoned and most of the buildings were locked up except for the occasional tavern who had nocturnal patrons that hadn't yet passed out for the night. The surrounding businesses had closed up hours ago, and the hotels and residences in the area happily shuttered their windows against the spring rains and nighttime chill. It almost didn't feel like being in Nexus. It was easy to forget that not every district in the city was covered in filth and street urchins that the Hooded Executioners couldn't scrape off the streets let alone a little rain; but Sentinel Hill, especially so close to the Council Tower, almost felt tranquil at this time of night. They crossed the street to turn down another main road, looping broadly around the south side of the Council Tower before they would head north to meet up with Fay at the pulley car stop.
A crackle of lightning flashed and illuminated the underside of the dark rain clouds that blocked out the sky, the light had made it quite clear that The Cicada had left its dock at the Council Tower. Effortlessly both Grass Spiders knew that Zealot was still onboard and the ship was still in the city; nonetheless both peaked out from the brim of the umbrella to look up at the empty Council Tower as they exhaled heavy smoke into the the crisp night air. Fay had informed them that Queen and Zealot were planning to make the kill tonight, but they hadn't received any updates yet. Then again no news is good news when it regards The Circle with No Name.
“You think she has any idea what she is getting herself into?” Ash again was the one who broke the silence, though his tone lacked characteristic brazen confidence and took on the less often heard mild, introspective voice.
“Huh?” Opal hadn't noticed, her mind had completely drifted elsewhere. Someplace earlier that night, last week, last month, or maybe last year.
Ash looked over to her and a smirk crept across his lips, but he didn't comment on her mindset. “Queen. Do you think she has the slightest idea what she has gotten herself into?”
“Up there?” Opal responded as she blew out a long puff of smoke, reflexively billowing it into a smoke ring, a habit she hadn't meant to pick up. “I think she can take care of herself Ash. What, are you worried?”
Ash chuckled playfully in response, “I’m sure she can handle herself. I meant with us. Can you imagine what is running through her head about us?” Ash took a lengthy drag of his cigarette, held it a moment then exhaled slowly, blowing away from the parasol. “Think about The Red Hoods. She is the lighthearted one. Fuuuuuck. The look on her face everytime I do something, she might vomit. And when it works, it’s like I shit in her ocean.”
Opal couldn't help but laugh, in no small part because he was right. Still she spoke with a self deprecating tone, “I guess so. We’re probably not the easiest to work with...especially lately.”
“I have nooo idea what you mean...” Ash said knowingly.
Opal laughed a little awkwardly, Ash’s charismatic humor slowly eroding the emotional barrier that Opal had resolved to build up stronger than ever. She didn't respond and let the silence return between the two of them, each taking several long draws of smoke and exhaling them out from under their shared umbrella. She finally looked up ready to speak, but instead bit her lip and said nothing. Returning her gaze to the wet, abandoned streets of Nexus.
Ash looked down at her and studied her quietly for a short moment before speaking again, “Stop acting like a little girl afraid of getting another lecture from her father. Depending on what happened on that balcony tonight, I may be the only member of this Circle not angry with you right now, so spit it out or get over it. I don't care which, just chose one.”
Ash paused to take a quick inhale through his cigarette, as if to allow her to talk and she looked up with a bit of a surprised look as his bluntness, but before she could respond he exhaled and continued.
“You know most of us are a hell of a lot more human than we care to admit. And I’m talking about the whole fucking organization, not just this Circle.” Ash paused briefly again, though more for dramatic effect and delivery than to allow Opal an opportunity to speak. A legitimate frustration had crept into his voice, but was gone as he resumed, “Damn near all of us have a string, a building block, that if tugged a certain way the whole facade comes tumbling down around us. What’s really going to bake your noodle is, was the string that unraveled you the one that you thought could? And did they pull that string on purpose? Or maybe it was just a coincidence...”
Ash smirked a bit and looked over to her, recognizing that she wasn't prepared to respond to the short monologue he’d just embarked on. “You don’t have to tell me. But that shit is why you don’t sleep for a week, that’s why you drink for 72 hours straight, or whatever other self-destructive behavior you care to indulge. Wallowing for wallowing's sake however....” Ash didn't finish the sentence, but ended it with a disapproving tsk that was clearer than any explanation could have been.
Opal took a drag from the cigarette Ash gave her while she went over his statements in her head. She let the silence hang for a long enough time that it became comfortable. With the silence of the tranquil district broken only by the rain tapping rapidly on the umbrella above them, Opal finished about half of the tobacco before interrupting the white noise.
"You know Ash, sometimes when me and Zealot are out there jumping between rooftops and fighting off throngs of security, it's hard to remember what it is you do here. Zealot usually smirks when Mesa insists you're a 'people person', but you're pretty damn good at what you do. At any rate, you sure as hell know how to ask the right questions."
She smirked and continued, "But if you're gonna make spill my guts I'm gonna need another one of these." She held up the glowing butt between her thumb and forefinger before flicking it into the street. Ash begrudgingly began rolling another one and said, "So demanding. Don't act like this is you doing me a favor - the only thing I've seen you put effort into in the past month is freeing our prisoners, you know." Opal started to attempt defending her actions, but Ash interrupted her with a raised hand.
"No, no, it's fine. I'm over it. This conversation is to help you get over it. Here." Ash handed her a new cigarette and lit it after Opal pursed it between her lips. "Now, where were we?"
Opal sighed and began, "I think that's exactly it. Things really went downhill after the attack on the range homes - And... yeah, the thread that unraveled me, I didn't think that it would. I mean, of course Naru is particularly close to our circle, so none of us were happy about it --"
Ash interjected "-- of course. I wouldn't say I took the news well either. But I didn't set up unsanctioned prisoner swaps without talking to anyone over it." He didn't say anything more than that, not wanting to derail the conversation.
" -- I guess I felt like it was my fault. Like they went after Naru because somehow they knew she was important to me... and... because they knew I wasn't exactly stable when it came to dealing with Naru. She spends her whole fucking life trying to please me, swearing she doesn't want anything in return. And then, she gets hurt because of it - how could I not do anything?"
Ash thought carefully about his reply; truthfully, he did know the feeling well - he didn't talk about it much, but he knew full well that Star and Sky's decision to associate with himself had more to do with their death than any action in particular.
Ash sighed before exhaling a brilliant puff of smoke, which glinted and danced in the moisture-flecked air until the pair of them broke it up with their forward pace. "Sometimes you can't. Admittedly, I wanted to at the time, but some older folks caught up to me and talked me out of it," Ash said. He continued with a smirk, "I guess you run faster." Ash thought for a moment, determined to get the root of the issue.
"But, I mean, okay, fine, a secret society kidnapped your friend and you got pissed. I don't think anyone would call that behavior weird - not even the acting out part. Like I said, I woulda done the same if nobody else were around. What I'm really wondering is why you've been a mess ever since."
Opal nodded along with Ash, knowing that this is where he was going with the conversation.
"Of course you're right... " She half-chuckled and half-smirked, taking a few drags as she walked.
"I guess what really unraveled me is that my worst fear turned out to be more or less spot on. I wasn't so much afraid that something bad would happen to Naru, I was mostly afraid I'd react like that when it did. Honestly, Ash, I've always had pretty weird attachment problems. I guess being raised by a clan of assassins and thieves might not be engender the most well-balanced value system for a child."
They both smirked. At first, Opal was uncomfortable opening up to Ash, but Ash was right - he was about the only person not angry with her at the moment. She continued.
"Somewhere deep down, I knew I was a ticking time bomb. The problem is that I'd done a great job avoiding that fact until the Naru thing - having to face that, to face the fact that I'm not in control of... well, any aspect of my life, really... It was the icing on the cake for this fucking gods-be-damned Veil War. It's not any one thing... Just to know that I have buttons which can be pushed, which can make me lose all common sense and self-control... Thinking about that has been hell on a psyche I wouldn't call rock-solid to begin with."
Ash thought about her reply while they walked. He didn't have anything to say quite yet, so he kept quiet, unsure and unconcerned with how Opal would interpret his silence. Evidently, she found the silence more uncomfortable than Ash did - she broke the silence once more.
"And Mesa... Gods, I was a fucking bitch to Mesa." She shook her head at her own behavior as of late, elaborating, "We fought last night and I pretty much blew up on him. He was being a pretentious cock but I gave him a little more than he deserved."
Ash held back a grin but couldn't quite keep the sarcastic remark from escaping. "What does that mean?"
Opal sighed and replied with her own sarcastic praise, "Hilarious, Ash. So, anyway, today Mesa and I didn't start on the best terms... "
Ash nodded, cutting to the chase. "So what happened on the balcony?"
"He came out to try to talk to me before we pulled anything off, I think to make amends, and I told him something that... maybe rightly... made him blow up again and call me melodramatic and insist I was overreacting, and it pretty much went downhill from there."
Ash let the silence hang for a moment before taking the bait. "What'd you tell him?"
"That I'm thinking of quitting."
Dan 08:39, 12 June 2013 (EDT)
Ash didn't try to conceal his surprise, what was the point? Of all the members of The Circle with No Name, Opal was probably the least likely to seriously consider leaving The Order, let alone confess her feelings about it. Zealot probably wasn't going anywhere, but there was always a curiosity that Zealot might look for something more grandiose once he had mastered his craft here. Fay was probably the most ambitious of The Circle when it came to a leadership role in The Order, but she also lacked the compassion to truly ever tie herself to one place. No one would be surprised if Mesa just got lost one day and didn't make it back. And Ash was as wishy-washy as they come, though at least he will always be well dressed. But Opal, she was a lifer, no one could argue that. And Ash wasn't about to, so resumed the silence in their conversation that Ash found much more comfortable than Opal, especially after she opened up and made her confession. Ash withdrew a final cigarette from the ivory case in his coat, this time without the shuffle of searching his pockets, pursed it between his lips, lit it, and inhaled deeply.
Opal watched Ash carefully, trying to gauge if she had finally managed to simultaneously alienate the entire Circle. Ash was obviously pretty surprised by the news, that much he wasn't trying to hide, but beyond that she lacked the skill to discern what was really going through his head. At least he hadn’t blown up in anger as Mesa had, she didn't have the energy for that again. Though Opal found the silence uncomfortable she decided she would wait it out this time, returning her stare to the puddles on the cobblestone road as she stepped in them.
Ash took his time responding, not necessarily choosing his words wisely, that wasn't how he rolled, rather letting the emotion of her statement wash over him before expressing a reaction. He had smoked half of the new cigarette before he finally cut the tension.
“Damn, I figured you just broke up with him or some shit.” Ash deflected the issue at hand only long enough to ease back into conversation. “No doubt that is one hell of a motherfuckin, melodramatic overreaction...”
So much for not blowing up… Opal readied herself for where she figured this conversation was headed, and maybe Ash and Mesa were right. Then again what did it say about the state of her life that the two people she is getting advice from are Ash and Mesa. Gods help her.
“...at least if you consider this an isolated incident. It might be, it might not be. It’s probably part of something larger. Talk to Rizuka about that mumbo-jumbo. I’m sure there is some sage wisdom a Harvestman could drop on ya, but you’re not looking for that shit.” Ash’s delivery fluctuated wildly from heated passion to casual nonchalance almost word to word.
Not exactly what Opal was expecting, she found herself slightly confused, “Ash?”
He held up a hand to stop her there, smirking a bit as he finished his cigarette with a final long draw and flicked the butt into the curb of The Streets of Nexus. “There is a point to this, I swear.”
Ash finally settled on a calm, confident tone, “Earlier, you spoke of control, external and internal. It doesn’t come as naturally as it seems, we who have the power to make the world how we see it, somehow it never feels like it’s supposed to. No matter what we mold our life, or the world around us, into. I can empathize with that. I suspect anyone in this Order could, assuming they’re still capable of some form of empathy.” Ash stopped walking and turned to face Opal slipping one hand into his jacket pocket and gesturing with the other as he continued, “But something else occurred to me, something that makes us different. You're not like anyone else here. You didn't chose to be here. Not really.”
Ash let the words settle for a moment, putting heavy emphasis on the point he was building to as he made eye contact with Opal, “You never had any choice. As a child they brought you to a fantastic world where anything was possible, there’s boundless potential in the idea of The Grass Spiders. That was your childhood. Then, dream come true, you are Exalted. Still here, already a cog in the machine. I’m sure they asked you if you wanted to stay, but what else could you do? A token proposal with a predetermined outcome, they never would have asked if they ever feared a refusal. Not from someone already so close. Not everyone here had a better choice, but at the very least they got to make one. Everyone except for you.”
Opal turned away, looking down the street in the direction they were headed, the words like a splash of cold water on a groggy winter morning. The dim light of the essence lanterns that illuminated the path of the pulley car were in sight, not more than two short blocks down the cobblestone street. She wanted to fight, to yell back at him that he didn't know anything. Her mind was full of rage at the accusation, she was insulted, and to be told it from Ash of all people. Instead of screaming she started walking, leaving the cover of the parasol and entering the rain again. She didn't run, she didn't even walk with that much pace, she wasn't fleeing the situation. Just walking.
Ash caught up to her without much effort as they entered the glow of the lanterns surrounding the car station, the dull hum that warned of an impending arrival was barely audible over the constant patter of raindrops. They stood side by side in silence, eyes straight ahead like strangers making their morning commute. A channel in the road, with a pair of narrow metal guide rails to serve as the track, split the street in two with only a lone patron waiting for the car under a thatched roof on the far side. Soon enough the dull hum gave way to a short rush of wind as the pulley car arrived at the station, squealing as it slowed.
Out of sight of the streets’ only other occupant, and under the mask of the rushing wind and rattling metal guides, Ash broke the silence in a barely perceptible whisper without even a tilt of his head in her direction, “If you do, The Geronimo will drop you anywhere in Creation. No questions asked.”
Opal’s blood was still boiling, but she finally turned and looked at him for the first time since he had ranted about her life, but the car had arrived and he stepped through the doorless portal and boarded the transport before she could respond. Ash and the patron from the other side of the track boarded at the same time, through opposite doorways and took seats on mirroring sides at the back of the same car. Opal stepped on board only a moment later, but instead moved to the front of the car and stood with one arm raised above her head holding onto a support for standing passengers and stared out the front of the car into the stormy Nexus night.
At the back of the car the young woman who was the third passenger broke the silence, “Did you guys take the long way? I've been waiting forever!”
Ash knew that Fay hated to be kept waiting, and replied with a coy smirk “My apologies Princess, I know how the rain ruins your hair.”
--FyreFly 14:30, 1 September 2013 (EDT)