Mission 7: Thus Spake the Flameslinger

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Suggested Music: Madvillain - Strange Ways'

This pretty much sums it up.

Exalted:
Grass Spiders

Chapter 2

The Circle With No Name

The Job

Client: The Flameslinger
Target: The Flameslinger
Type: Assassination
Target background: The man who needs no introduction. The man responsible for more terrible one-liners than any other individual in Creation's storied history, the Flameslinger is a Dawn caste Solar Exalt with no clear motivation save to leave a Creation-wide trail of people cringing at his awful puns. Having cleared the South of its most notorious villains, including deathknights, demons, and tyrannical Imperial lords, he is something of a folk hero there, although his tremendous ego and unbearable sense of humor leave most villagers gently and politely encouraging him to "get back to saving the South" when he's passing through. In such a Time of Tumult, the citizens of the South he claims to protect are growing ever more paranoid, driven into a state of perpetual fear by the growing number of threats in Creation. Some have begun to doubt the ability of this traveling hero to keep them safe. This was their mistake.

To demonstrate to the good people of Gem and the greater South that they have nothing to fear, the Flameslinger began inviting challenge after challenge to Gem, defeating each as it came. Although it boosted the peoples' morale considerably, the Flameslinger really needed a way to prove his invincibility to his followers... and how better to do that than to foil Creation's most-feared assassins?

Indeed, the Flameslinger has taken out a contract on his own head. He has paid fully in advance, loudly remarking when he did so that material possessions were meaningless to him (he owns several dusters, firearms, hats, and horses of impeccable quality, for the record). His contract stipulated that he had one month to get to back to the South and make preparations. The Grass-Spiders accepted. Although the job was originally slated to go to the Lankhmar Harvestmen (Gyoki did not want to chance this job going poorly, desperate to avoid the boasting by the Flameslinger that would follow), Mesa and Ash, who had prior encountered the Flameslinger on separate business and found him too insufferable even to fight, demanded the job go to the Circle with No Name. Liking their zeal, Gyoki agreed to give it to them.

A final background note - as the Flameslinger was finishing his negotiation on the contract with Gyoki, he remarked that he had utmost respect for the combat skills of the Order and hoped sincerely that it would be a "jab well done."

It's about time somebody shut this guy the hell up.

Critical Notes

  • The Flameslinger is known to meditate and train inside of one of Gem's volcanos.
  • He frequents O'Banon's Hammer, a tavern in Gem run by Nuadha's distant Great Great Uncle Horace.
  • Gyoki and the Flameslinger, both gentlemen of a sporting nature, agreed that no innocents are to be harmed during the hit.

((I'll post some more details tomorrow, but it's getting late here. Dan 00:00, 28 July 2010 (EDT)))